Just A Dream
by crazedreader96akajetliormrslh
Summary: "I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone." Logan has a bad nightmare and James is desperate to help. Logan isn't accepting it and things get a bit too far. Jagan one-shot.


Just A Dream

Pairing: Jagan

* * *

_"Just stay the hell away from me!" The harsh tone in James's voice made Logan stop in his tracks. "Are you deaf? Get out of here!" _

_"I-I don't understand," Logan stuttered._

_"The genius doesn't understand! Oh my lord stop the presses!" James said sarcastically. "Let me simplify this for you. I. Don't. Love. You. Can you comprehend that?" Even his eyes were cold._

_Logan nodded, trying to keep his tears at bay. He understood._

_"That's what I thought," James sneered. "So just go. Maybe you could die in a hole and no one would notice." He chuckled. "Now get out of my sight." _

_Logan turned away sharply, as though he felt his own presence would make James sick. He was feeling disgusted with himself. What made him think that James would ever love him? He felt the tears that were welling in his eyes stream down his face, listening to James's cruel laughter behind him._

Logan shot upright in his bed, blinking rapidly, trying to register what just happened. He looked over to his right where James was cured next to him. James did love him. Right? He ran his hands through his dark hair.

"Logie?" James asked, his voice clouded with sleep. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine James," Logan said, lying back down. "Just go back to sleep." James didn't look convinced but he wrapped his arms around Logan's waist, pulling his close. Logan began to take deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"If you need anything, feel free to wake me up," James said, placing a kiss to Logan's head.

"Alright," Logan said before falling back asleep.

* * *

"Logan!" the boy in question snapped his chocolate brown eyes open, meeting James's apprehensive hazel ones. The taller boy was straddling the shorter one, his hands on his shoulders. Logan blinked rapidly again, trying to take deep breaths without breaking down.

"Logan you're shaking," James said, pulling the other brunette into a sitting position, catching him in a hug. "What's wrong?"

"B-bad dream," Logan stuttered. "R-really bad dream."

"It's okay," James told him, running a hand up and down Logan's back, trying to comfort him. "I'm here."

Yet Logan wasn't sure if he was comforted or frightened by that.

* * *

James was very concerned about Logan. His boyfriend had been acting strange ever since he told him he had a nightmare. It seemed that Logan wanted nothing to do with any close contact, and the only time they were alone together was when they were getting ready to go to bed. Whenever James tried to talk about it to figure out what was going on, Logan would tell him that everything was okay and that he didn't need to worry. Logan was hurting, and that was hurting James. He needed to know what was going on. He had to know what was wrong.

* * *

It was early the night morning when Logan stumbled into the kitchen. He made his way to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. His stomach growled lowly but he disregarded it. He hadn't been eating anything for the past few days, and he hadn't been sleeping either. Logan was fine with this state of insomnia. He couldn't take the contrast between real James and dream James. Not sleeping helped him not have to deal with it.

_He doesn't love you._ came the persistent voice in his head. It had been there ever since the first nightmare, and Logan couldn't figure out who it sounded like. _Why don't you just go and kill yourself already you punk? Save everyone the trouble of having to deal with you._ Logan Mitchell had been hallucinating, and he wanted out. Fast. He quickly made his way to the bathroom and opened the cabinet. He grabbed the first bottle he saw and swallowed a handful of pills. Feeling as though it wouldn't work fast enough, Logan grabbed a razor with a fresh blade and dragged it across his wrist. He bit back a hiss as he did the same with the other, watching thin red lines appear on his skin. He gave a dry chuckle as his head began to spin.

* * *

James jumped out of bed at the sound of a thud. He raced out of the room and looked around. He ran into the bathroom, his eyes going wide at what he saw.

"Logan!" he cried as he saw his boyfriend slumped against a wall, his eyes flickering. His face was extremely pale and his wrists were red. James rushed over, quickly trying to wrap Logan's wrists with the bandages, applying pressure.

"Don't bother James," Logan said, his voice slurred. "Just leave me here."

"What?" James asked then saw the bottle of pills spilled on the floor. "Logan you didn't." There were tears in his eyes. "Please tell me you didn't."

Logan only chuckled dryly before he fell limp in James's grasp.

"No!" Logan didn't respond, his face growing paler still. "Logan no!" James lifted Logan's still form in his arms. He felt too light to be Logan. "Guys help! It's Logan! Help!" His voice cracked.

"James what- oh my God!" Carlos said as he and Kendall emerged from their room. Kendall's eyes flooded with shock.

Mrs. Knight quickly grabbed her keys, ushering the boys out the door, Katie following, tears in her eyes.

"Out of the way!" James shouted as they raced through the hospital doors. A doctor took Logan from James and placed him onto a stretcher, wheeling him into the emergency room. James sat in the chair, staring at the double doors, tears welling in his eyes, streaming down his face. Why would Logan do this? Would he be okay?

* * *

James couldn't take the waiting any longer. He stood up and went to the receptionist, tapping his fingers on the desk.

"I would like information about Logan Mitchell." More like needed it.

"It seems he was checked into a room about ten minutes ago sir." What?

"Ten minutes? We've been sitting here without information for ten unnecessary minutes?" He tried to take deep breaths.

"That is my fault," James turned and saw the doctor who took Logan away from him. "I'm Doctor Hane. I had to make sure he was stable before I came out here."

"Is Logan okay?"

"We gave him a blood transfusion and pumped the medication out of his system. He's alright. He's awake and has been asking for James." The others looked surprised.

"I'm James," James replied.

"Follow me then." James followed the doctor down the hall to a corner room. "There you are."

"You can do this James," James said to himself, then pushed the door open. He saw Logan sitting upright, staring out the window. He still looked paler and his wrists were wrapped with white bandages. But he was alive. That was what mattered

"I hate being treated like an invalid," Logan said suddenly with yet another dry laugh. James stepped forward. "Why?"

"Why what?" James asked.

Logan turned to look at him, tears in his eyes. "Why did you save me? Why didn't you just let me die?"

"I would never let you did Logan."

"Why not?" His voice was very low.

"Because I love you." James tried to take his hand but Logan pulled away.

"Why do you love me?" Logan asked, his voice breaking. His face became tear-stained and his heartrate spiked slightly.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, carefully making his way to sit by Logan's bed. The smaller boy tore his gaze away.

"Why the hell do you love me?" He repeated. "I don't have anything to offer you! I'm just some scrawny, unattractive geek that can't do anything right! Why are you making me wait?" His breathing was shaky and his fists were clenched, trembling slightly. "Just do it already!"

"I really don't know what you're talkin about," James said. "Please let me help you. I can't stand to see you like this."

"Why don't you tell me that you really don't love me already? Why don't you just get up and leave like-" he cut off as more tears began to fall. James swore the bandages looked darker than his boyfriend's face.

"Like what Logan?" James's voice was broken as a few stray tears found their way down his face. Logan didn't answer. "Like what?"

"Like my damn nightmares that have made me fucking insane alright?" Logan said before breaking into pure sobs. "Are you happy now?" James instantly wrapped his arms around Logan's shaking form, getting out of his chair. He felt Logan feebily punch at his chest and he kept his grip, waiting until Logan stopped and just continued to weep.

"This is what your nightmares have been about? You're afraid that I never really loved you?" His heart broke as he felt Logan nod into his chest. His grip around him tightened. "Don't you ever say those things about yourself. I _love _you Logan. I always have and nothing will _ever _change that. But why didn't you tell me about this sooner? I could have helped you."

"I thought you would have found it stupid," Logan sniffed, still looking away.

"Anything concerning you is _not _stupid to me," James said. "Please look at me." When the smaller boy complied, James pressed their lips together. Logan weaved his fingers through James's hair, keeping them close together. "You aren't insane Logan. You just need help. And that's what I'm here for."

Logan nodded and James climbed on the bed next to him, keeping his arms around the injured boy. Logan curled into his side, resting his head on James's chest, his fingers clutching his shirt.

"I love you," James said, holding Logan close. "Don't ever doubt that."

"I love you too," Logan said, his eyes flickering shut as he drifted to sleep, breathing softly.

James kept a careful eye on Logan, keeping note of even the slightest change. The fact that he wanted to commit suicide was frightening. James couldn't believe that Logan thought he didn't love him. He loved Logan more than anything. James looked up to see Kendall, Carlos, Mrs. Knight and Katie walk in.

"How is he?" Mrs. Knight asked.

James looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms, resting peacefully. "He's okay now. He'll be alright." James would make sure of it.

* * *

A few days later and Logan was released from the hospital and was welcomed back to the Palm Woods. He always stayed by James, not that the taller boy minded. Siting by the pool was when James first heard it.

"That little punk doesn't deserve him." Logan also heard it and he tensed at the harsh words that one of the new hopefuls carelessly spat. He could now place who the voice in his head sounded like. "He thinks he's loved. Poor sucker." Logan began to shake as he rubbed the faint criss-crossing scars on his wrist. James clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white the angrier he got. "He'll get dropped pretty soon." Logan quickly stood up and raced away, not wanting to hear more.

"Kendall, Carlos, please go with him," James said through clenched teeth, standing out of his chair. The two nodded, following after their friend.

* * *

Logan curled in a ball on the floor, his knees to his chest. He proceeded to take deep breaths. The words echoed in his mind however, and a few tears formed in his eyes.

_It's okay Logan. _He thought to himself. _Just relax._ James loved him, and the new kid was just jealous. The words still hit him hard though, striking close to home. His own parents dropped him, leaving him to be adopted by the Knights when he was only ten. Although he knew James would never do that to him, he couldn't help but doubt slightly. _Don't do anything rash Logan. _He thought. _It won't help you._

"Logan!" he heard Kendall say then was met by his gaze. "Are you alright?"

Logan nodded, not feeling up to speaking. His adopted brother nodded as well.

"Come on," Carlos said, helping him up. "James will be up here soon. How about you go and sleep for a little? That isn't bad, right?" Carlos didn't want to baby him, but he couldn't help but worry. Logan nodded again, completely understanding. He walked into his room, lying across his bed that he and James shared. He wrapped his arms around James's large gray body pillow before quickly falling asleep.

* * *

"Did you see him run?" the new kid asked while laughing. "That was the best thing I've ever seen!"

"Excuse me?" James asked, causing him to jump.

"James!" he said. "I was just-"

"Openly insulting my boyfriend. I know. I heard."

"He doesn't deserve you!" James grabbed him by the front of his shirt, a low growl rising in his throat as he glared at him.

"And you think you do? Listen to me clearly. You have just made a public enemy out of me. Don't you _ever_ let me catch you insulting him, getting near him, or even looking at him. You got that?" The new kid blinked rapidly. "You got that?" James repeated.

The new kid frantically nodded and James let him go, turning away to go to the apartment to check on Logan. As soon as he set foot in the door, Kendall and Carlos pointed to the bedroom, the door closed. James made his way over and opened the door quickly, chuckling silently as he saw how small Logan was in comparison to his own life-sized pillow. Silently, he made his way to the bed, taking the pillow away gently. Logan's eyes flickered slightly as he yawned, his chocolate irises clouded with sleep and confusion. He moved his hands, trying to find something to hold onto, stopped when he found James's shirt, nuzzling his head into the warmth his chest provided. He squinted slightly, yawning again.

"It's just me," James cooed softly, rubbing his hand though the shorter brunette's soft hair. He wrapped his arms around him, feeling Logan bury his head further into his chest.

"I love you," Logan said sleepily, his fingers lightly clutching James's shirt.

"I love you too. Now sleep, I've got you." Logan's breathing slowed as he drifted to sleep again. James smiled lightly. He had Logan and that was all that mattered to him. He closed his eyes before falling asleep as well, both warding off the other's nightmares. They could always rely on each other.


End file.
